Paint breezeway...check!

Yup...still knee deep in home improvement projects. Last weekend I decided to start tackling a project that has been on the waiting list for 3 years! When we moved into our home, nearly every room needed a paint job, so our indoor porch that connects the garage to our house (a.k.a the breezeway) was last on the priority list. It was the room that probably needed it the most, but after painting every room with two coats of primer and two coats of paint - I was spent! Last Monday I decided it was time to finally check that "to-do" off the list. To my dismay, what I thought would be a quick afternoon project, turned into a four day hiatus. And I'm still not officially done. UGH...so is the story of our lives when it comes to home improvement. What should be simple...never is. Here are some before pictures...

About a year ago I did a small overhaul of the space, but didn't paint. My mother-in-law helped by sewing some new slipcovers for the cushions on my grandmother's wicker furniture. Would you believe the slipcovers are made out of shower curtains I found on clearance at Target?! WAY cheaper than it would have been to buy fabric. Plus - mildew and stain resistant since they are made to be in bathrooms! I was able to cover all of the cushions for less than $80 and even had some leftover fabric to sew pillow covers. For the navy pillow covers I used linen napkins. To save even more dough, I also refashioned a couple of lamps I already had by adding rope on the bases and ribbon on the shades. The oversized American flag was painted on a piece of old plywood we had laying around. 

LOVE the navy adirondack chair! My husband made it in high school, but it was weathered beyond belief from years of neglect. A little sanding and some navy spray paint and the chair had new life! To soften the back, I purchased grain sacks from a local antique shop and tuned them into pillows. Every girl needs a grain sack throw pillow!

When planning the soft overhaul last year, I chose the red, white and blue color scheme for a couple of reasons. First, as you may already know, I love red and it carries throughout most of our home. I didn't have any red on the breezeway and I wanted it to flow a bit better with the rest of the house. The carpeting, which we cannot afford to replace right now, is a blue berber so I thought the patriotic colors could jive.

So...back to the painting! Since it's a three-season room (no heating or air conditioning), the walls are covered in car-siding instead of dry wall. It allows the room to withstand the elements and avoid cracking during the freezing and thawing of winter. But...it also means it was a pain in the patootie to paint! Every little seam in the paneling had to be cut-in with a brush. All of the trim needed not one, but two coats of paint, and even the ceiling needed paint. It's probably why I've been dragging my feet for so long. That, and the fact that it serves as our front entry to our house. No one ever uses our front door, so having it in disarray is not the most convenient. As I was sitting on the porch giving myself a pep talk to get started last weekend, I somehow convinced myself that it wouldn't be that bad of a project. Au contraire, mon frére! That's french for "Think again you crazy fool!"

Anyway - I powered through and burnt the midnight oil last night putting everything back together. After a fresh coat of paint, I was inspired to try a new seating arrangement and restyle the accessories in the space. Best part - everything I used, I already had on hand! Whooppeee! I love FREE accessories! Here are the results...

We did make one major purchase for the revamp. One of the white wardrobes we already had - the one on the left is new. It's not a perfect match to our original, but it's close enough. It was important to keep the wardrobes as part of the makeover because we desperately need a dumping ground for all of our coats, shoes, hats, mittens, backpacks - you name it. With two growing boys, the amount of "junk" this room will need to hold will only grow! But it doesn't mean it has to be ugly. The doors keep it all hidden and I love the display space the top of the wardrobes provide!

What I adore most about the new space is the way it seems to tie to the outdoors. The room used to have faux wood blinds and I decided to take them down for two reasons. One, because they were constantly dusty and dirty from having the windows open all of the time, and two, because now you can really see outside when you're sitting in the space. The room really is the best of both worlds. You can smell, hear and see the beauty of nature, but the elements such as rain and BUGS are kept at bay. I can't wait to sit out there during a rain storm!

Isn't she pretty?! The doors leading to our garage, kitchen and outside still need to be painted, but I'm up in the air on the color. I'm thinking of going bold with a deep hue of rustic red, but I'll probably chicken out and stick to white. Regardless, I am really enjoying the fruits of my labor! She really is gorgeous - oh! - and economical too!

Junk-yard

In case you haven't caught on (honestly, where have you been?!) I really gravitate toward junk. As many veteran "junkers" will tell you - the secret to incorporating cast-offs into your home is to mix it with new. Items that, by themselves, are old, quirky, and - yes - even ugly, can take on a whole new life when mixed with polished, new and pretty. To add a little character and charm to your home's exterior - you can use the same rule of thumb. AND save a little dough in the process.

Landscaping can get pricey! To help keep costs low when decorating outdoors, I always look to estate and garage sales and vintage markets. A healthy dive (or climb as it may be) into my mom's attic is always fun too! Here are a few of my favorites outside my own home.

A rusty antique wash tub makes a perfect planter and can give your arrangement some attractive height.

I picked up this vintage Radio Flyer wagon at Dysart's Back Roads Vintage Market last year. See?! Another great reason you should go on June 21. If you haven't seen my recent posts - I happen to be a vendor  at the event this year (wink, wink). Add an old produce crate to the wagon, and it's a great way to bring a little order to this random grouping of clay pots. If you decide to use a wagon for a planter, it's a good idea to place pots inside vs. planting directly in the wagon. From time to time, I like to remove the pots from my wagon and dump out any standing water. It will keep the bottom of the wagon from rusting out. Unless, of course, the wagon is already rusty. In that case - plant away!!!  And, yes, I <heart> my dogs!

Oh pagoda how I love thee! My grandma had a much taller pagoda in her garden and I had been looking for one after she passed away. I scored this lovely at an estate sale last summer for $15!!! It lives in my butterfly garden. Swoon...

Another rusty wagon and a primitive box anchor these two pots of annuals, which were SUPER cheap.  More on that in a minute.

Thanks, Mom, for this lady in red. She was missing the caning on her seat so I introduced her to a can of spray paint and hauled her out to the butterfly garden. What a great planter! She and the pagoda play so well together.

Another score from an estate sale is this lovely bird feeder. It's made from a Ball canning jar, a poultry feeder, a ceramic plate and a glass candle holder. I was going to attempt to make one of these myself until I saw it hiding in a garage for only $6! Woo hoo!

An aspect of landscaping that can really suck you dry is the plants themselves. I have a couple of favorite sources that I visit nearly every year to help keep costs low.

If you enjoy gardening and you've never been to the Green Scene of Black Hawk County Plant Sale, you really must put it on your calendar for next year. It is typically held early in May on the Cattle Congress grounds in Waterloo, and features a plethora of perennials. Several plant donations are collected throughout the Cedar Valley as a fundraiser for Green Scene and then resold at a very low cost. For a small donation, you can attend the preview event on Friday and get the first pick. Otherwise, the general public is invited to attend on Saturday. The prices are unbeatable and the variety of perennials is amazing!

One of the best kept secrets when it comes to annual flowers is Aldi. Yes, you read it right! That quirky little grocery store that carries odds and ends that are significantly discounted compared to other grocers, is also a gold mine for potted flowers, as well as the occasional perennial. And we're back to those cheap pots I referenced earlier. In the spring, at least two of Aldi's weekly ads will include hanging annual baskets for $5.99!!! Variety in the type of plant is usually lacking, but nevertheless, it has been my saving grace for filling my pots year after year. The first time Aldi runs the ad, it is usually early in the spring, long before most people start to think about potting. I usually hit them up anyway and store the baskets on my breezeway or in my garage until the threat of frost has passed. You just can't beat the price! I usually venture back when the second ad hits because the variety is usually different from the first go around. Even if you don't have a lot of need for hanging plants, or don't like the style of pot, it's an economical way to fill your own collection because the flowers are easily transplanted. If you're not up for transplanting - did you know the hanger on hanging plastic baskets is removable at the base? And if it isn't - just cut it off! In addition to flowers you can pick up some other gardening supplies for a really great price at Aldi. Other purchases I've made over the years are window boxes, a bird feeder station, bird bath and knockout roses.

Wire window boxes purchased from Aldi's.

So there you have it, folks. Beautifying your yard for summer doesn't have to break the bank. Get a little creative and think outside the planter box! You just might find some incredible steals when you look beyond the traditional home and garden stores.

I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth...

This morning I had the "privilege" of upholding one of my civic duties as an American citizen: Jury Duty. Horrah! Can you sense the sarcasm?

Before all of you die-hard lovers of the justice system go all ape on me, I should clarify. It's not that I don't understand, or recognize, the importance of my presence. I get it. And, God forbid, should I ever find myself on the other side of the courtroom railing, I will be thankful that our American Justice System exists. However, as I sit here today on a solid wood bench, trying to wake my butt cheeks from their slumber, I can't help but think that as a juror we are treated a bit like criminals ourselves.

I'm 35 years old and this is the fourth time I've been called for jury duty. I've received notice five times, but the first time I was still in high school and under the age of 18. I know people older than me that have never been called. If there's one thing for certain, it's that the Black Hawk County Courthouse has my number. It's a random selection process. I just wish I had the same luck of the draw while playing the Iowa Powerball.

Anyhoo...my point is this isn't my first dog and pony show. I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to the experience. Perhaps so many of us wouldn't dread the process so much if it wasn't, well, such a dreadful process. For those of you who are unfamiliar with how it goes down, let me paint the picture:

The first thing you encounter upon entering the courthouse is a long security line where you are required to have your bags and body scanned. I get the necessity and its sad that we live in a world where you have to assume anybody could be packing. But, a body scan at 8:00 a.m., before I've even had a Diet Coke, isn't the warmest of welcomes. After passing through the security line, you stand in another long line for the Clerk of Court where you receive your courtroom assignment. You'll be greeted by a courthouse employee who is so obviously overflowing with joy and happiness that he/she passes your assignment on to you with a curt "Courtroom 301. Next?" Once you reach the courtroom, you plant your tushie on a pine bench. Get comfortable. Because unless you're lucky enough to be part of a plea-bargain case, that's where you'll spend the next. eight. hours. If you're really lucky, your juror number will be called and you'll move to one of the cushy chairs on the juror stand.

Not so bad you say? That's because you haven't gotten the pep talk from the courtroom attendant yet. Not only do you get to sit on a rock-hard bench for 8 hours, but there are to be "no cell phones, no cameras, no food, no beverages, no laptops, no e-readers, no tablests and no books in use in the courtroom." Because they need your utmost attention. Don't fret, there will be a recess from time to time so you can grab a snack or something to drink. That is if you don't need to use that time to sprint to your 2-hour parking meter so you can feed it more quarters and avoid a $10 parking ticket. If you do manage to grab a snack or something to drink in the remaining seconds of your 15-20 minute recess, you can forget about consuming it because all food and beverage must be eaten OUTSIDE the courtroom. Perhaps if you get really dry, you can sneak a drink from one of the styrofoam cups and giant pitchers of water sitting in front of the attorneys. They are the ones doing all the talking, right? Besides, if you eat or drink, you might have to use the restroom and there's no time for that either. Awesome.

So here I sit, writing today's post the old fashioned way: pen in hand, pen pressed to a white legal pad.

Wait - here comes the judge...

What's that he's saying? Something about the case being resolved?!

JACKPOT! Plea-bargain! We're dismissed!

As I leave the stagnant grey environment of the courthouse, I can immediately smell the freshness of the air and feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I can't help but think this must feel a little like being released from prison. Usually a break from the daily grind of caring for my two young boys is welcomed with open arms. But I'll take whining, fighting and butt-wiping over this controlled environment any day. I don't think I'll be seeing "Attorney at Law" behind my name anytime soon.

God bless America!

Purple Passion

This morning as I was standing at my kitchen sink overlooking my backyard, I noticed the lilacs are in bloom! I just knew I could smell them in the air last night as I wandered out to the mailbox to get Saturday’s mail...on Sunday (yup – that’s how we roll).

There are few things in nature that bring me as much joy as lilacs. We had a lilac tree at the house in which I grew up. I can still remember waiting patiently for them to reach their peak so I could cut a bouquet, wrap the stems with a wet paper towel, and haul them into school to give to my teachers. Oh the pride I felt as I would stare up at them with the beautiful purple flowers extended.

I'm not prejudice to the color: purple or white – it doesn't matter as long as the fragrance is strong! My husband despises them because it also means the height of his allergy season has arrived. On several occasions he’s threatened to whack down that tree. I hope he's prepared for disappointment, because that's one argument he will NEVER win! 

The blossoms are not quite ready for cutting just yet, though I can’t wait, because a giant bouquet will certainly grace the center of my kitchen island!

Home Sweet Home

Happy Saturday everyone! It was a beautiful day and we haven’t had many of those as of late so I’m in an especially good mood. To cap it off – I spent most of my day in an outdoor photography class enjoying nature and catching up with two long-time friends. More on the class another time.

It’s been pretty quiet on the social media front over the last several days (or perhaps weeks – agh). It’s mostly because we’ve been knee-deep in home improvement projects. Most of my “extra time” (as if that really exists for a mom of two young boys) has been eaten up by the joys of home ownership instead of the more fun projects I am more eager to share with you. But…like it or not…I’m going to bring you up to speed on some of the (zzzzzz….) boring house stuff. You can close your eyes if you’d like, I’ll wake you when I’m through.

The list of to-dos at the Bjerke home never seems to shorten – we just keep adding to it. Nevertheless, my husband and I (well, mostly I) had a couple of priorities once the weather got warmer:

#1. Build a fence around the garden.

We (um, I) chose a white picket fence to coordinate with the barn of a shed we erected last summer. The reasoning behind it was two-fold. First, a white picket fence around a garden that is planted next to a “barn” is just plain ADORABLE, right?! And second, we have that wonderful, mischievous, can’t-help-but-love-her puppy named Penny, who had taken to relieving her bowels in our garden and would undoubtedly destroy any bit of life we attempted to grow in said garden.  The hideous chicken wire fence we tacked up with flimsy stakes was no match for Penny when nature called. So, the new fence is both functional and pretty. Check.

#2. Paint the shed/barn red.

It’s on the list. And it’s been on the list since last fall. And it’s still not done. Drat!

#3. Move youngest child out of his crib and into a shared bedroom with older brother.

We have a two-story home, but the second story is only ¾ of a floor. The nursery, in which my youngest son spent the first two years of his life, is a small “bonus room” that is the result of a bump-out in our roof line. It’s tiny, but it functioned nicely as a nursery. When it was time for little E to move to a big-boy bed, we decided the boys could share a space.  There are two true bedrooms upstairs plus the bonus room, and a third bedroom on the main floor. Motherly instinct pushed me to keep all of us on the same floor for sleeping so a shared space it is. I decided on a vehicle theme. Purchasing a matching bedroom furniture set for two boys could get costly, so I turned to some thrifty options. I pieced together a pair of headboards that were my grandfather’s (that I painted), quilts from Target, some Iowa license plates, new wall decorations that look old, a used dresser that is the perfect height for the slanted ceilings, and some other quirky second-hand finds. It’s quaint quarters, but it’s just for sleeping and they love it. They often pretend they are camping. Check.

#4. Move toys to the “bonus room” for a relocated playroom.

Since the boys’ shared bedroom is tight for space, I thought it would be nice for them to have their toys and books near their bedroom instead of on the main floor. Additionally, and perhaps the driving force behind the playroom move, I’ve always dreamed of having a dedicated craft room. Our double duty office/playroom on the main floor is the perfect location for my sewing and crafting. I’m selfish – sue me. Upstairs the new playroom went. It required a bit of painting and a whole lot of up and down the stairs hauling toys, but the result is another fun space with quite a bit of character. The room already had a wall of built-in drawers that were begging to be stuffed with little odds and ends. And if there’s one thing this house does well, it’s odds and ends! All of the boys’ toys with their tiny little pieces found a perfect new home in those built-ins. 

The space is still a work in progress. I'm searching for a reasonably priced orange rug to add a pop of color. Once my sewing machine finds its way downstairs, we (ahem, my husband) also plan to cut a pint-sized door in the room’s wall that will lead to the adjacent hall closet (a.k.a my current craft closet). It will be in the short wall space right behind the lamp in the above photo. The playhouses built under stairway cavities that are exploding on Pinterest inspired me.

I can’t wait to finish up that part of the playroom. The boys will LOVE crawling through the tiny little door into their secret "room" that will house their play kitchen, books and dress up clothes. So…check(ish).

#5. Move my sewing machine and craft supplies to the main floor office.

Ohhhh the plans I have for my new crafting space! They include an entire wall dedicated to my sewing  and Cricut machines and their accompanying supplies, a FABULOUS vintage chandelier and a table (maybe counter height) for cutting fabric and painting furniture!!! I may have to edit down my dreams just a little, but I have to start somewhere right?! Can’t wait to get started on this one!!!

#6. Hatchlings & Hens NOW OPEN “On the Porch”

I saved this one for last because it’s the most exciting for me, but also the most up-in-the-air. It started with a simple task – paint the breezeway. The only space in our house that I didn’t paint when we moved in was the indoor “porch” between the garage and the house – a breezeway by technical terms. We have previously used the space to house a set of wicker furniture that I inherited from my grandmother’s estate, but we NEVER sit out there and I desperately need a place to store my finished Hatchlings & Hens projects. When I started moving things out of the breezeway to paint, I realized it could make a really sweet showroom. If everything works out, I’ll have very limited hours when Hatchlings & Hens will be open for business “On the Porch.” These plans are all riding on some nitty gritty details in the insurance world, so I’ll keep you posted. Hopefully (fingers crossed) this space will be getting more than just a paint job!

Finally, a little project that wasn’t really on the to-do list, but has been a long time in the making. One of the things I love most about our house is the line of cabinets that create a built-in buffet in our dining room. The storage capacity of that stretch of drawers and cupboards is HUGE! However, the expanse of naked wall space above those built-ins has always been tricky to decorate. While I love the fact that all of my china (gifts from numerous guests at our wedding) is safely tucked away in those cupboards, it’s always bothered me a little that none of that china is on display. So, when we inherited a bunch of salvaged cupboards from one of my husband’s friends, I immediately found purpose in one that had glass-front doors. The wood tone of the salvaged piece didn’t match our existing cupboards, yet it was similar enough that when placed next to the existing pieces, it looked like we were trying to match the two and failed miserably. I decided a nice coat of paint and some distressing could tame this beast into a beautiful home for my white china and eat up some of that empty space on the wall. I found inspiration in this chippy beauty on Pinterest.

My salvaged piece certainly didn’t have as much character as the above example. And it isn’t nearly as old – maybe an early 90s version. As in 1990…not 1890. Cue my old friend Annie Sloan and a few custom glass shelves from a local shop and ta-da!!!

I think I’m in love. I’m also thinking this giant wall might need a little more to either side of the cupboard. Right now, though, I’m enjoying seeing some of my favorite pieces that have spent the last three years hiding behind a wall of oak.

And there you have it folks. (This is the part where you wake up and pretend to be interested!) A little peak at what has been consuming my time (and mind) during the time since I last blogged. Enjoy the rest of this beautiful weekend and I’ll be back soon to share a bit of the awesome photography class. 

Happy Heart, Filthy Floors

What an amazing 30 days it has been! About a month ago I decided to become a vendor at the Little Prairie Girl (LPG) Vintage Market Barn Sale. Since that time, I had been busy, busy, busy, preparing for the big day. The event was this past weekend and it was nothing short of spectacular.

As the date of the event approached, the more my nerves increased. I've sold quite a few things here and there through friends or Facebook, but this was going to be my first official experience as a vendor. It kind of made what I've been doing seem that much more real. More of a "job" than a "hobby."

I first inquired about becoming a LPG vendor last fall, and I'm not really sure why it took me so long to make the big leap of filling out an application. Perhaps it was the fear of rejection. The market is a juried event, which means there is an application process and you have to be "selected" to participate. What if the selection committee told me no? And even if I was accepted, which I was, what if I didn't sell anything?! It felt a little like asking someone out on a date for the first time. The worst outcome - said date responds with a resounding "no" and destroys every ounce of confidence you have in yourself. The best outcome - a most excellent date, followed by an intense love affair, and you live happily ever after. Well, let's just say I'm sort of in that "love affair" state of mind right now. The verdict is still out on the happily ever after.

Friday and Saturday were packed with both good crowds and lots of buyers. A ton of my projects found new homes. And better yet, the feedback from friends, acquaintances and strangers was amazing. The entire experience was just plain FUN! If I hadn't sold a single item, it still would have been a success in my mind. The owner of LPG, Natalie Meester, does a phenomenal job of creating an upbeat and enjoyable atmostphere. Most of all, from my experience, she's flat out "good people." The experience was so positive, I've already secured a spot in the Hen House for September's sale. It must have given me the confidence I needed, because I've also inquired about becoming a vendor for the Back Road's Vintage Market in Dysart. WOO HOO!

That's me - driving my husband's BEAST of a truck, AND pulling a trailer. I was TERRIFIED about driving the trailer, but I only curb-checked it once. Not too shabby! :-)

The Hatchlings & Hens booth at Little Prairie Girl in the Hen House.

I'm often asked how I find time to do so much crafting. Other stay-at-home moms want to know how I manage to do all of the things stay-at-home moms do AND find time for projects. All I can say is it's an addiction. So much so, that many times other areas of my life seem to suffer. Laundry, for instance. After what has been an exhausting month, and even more tiring weekend, here's what my dining room looked like on Monday morning.

There are Easter decorations in there somewhere!

I think it had been a week or more since I had even considered some quality time with the washing machine. And, ahem, don't even think about using my bathroom or eating from my kitchen right now. It may look clean, but it's all a facade! Before I host my family's Easter this coming weekend, I have some serious deep cleaning to do. See, not a single one of us is perfect. It may look like I'm calm and collected on the outside, but I assure you, behind the scenes, I'm a big fat mess! I'm also "lucky" to have inherited the inability to chillax, a trait which plagues nearly every woman on my mom's side. It's part of the reason I suffer from tension headaches and the reason I'm medicated for anxiety and depression. Even with the drugs, I still can't seem to master the skill of putting up my feet. So, while you may be asking yourself how I manage to get it all done, I assure you I'm asking myself the same about you. Stay-at-home moms who manage to find time to cook, clean, take care of the kids AND have a workout regime. Or women who juggle more than TWO kids! Working moms who work all day AND still manage to have a clean house, cook and find quality time for their kids. Every single one of you women, for your individual accomplishments, is amazing to me! While you may not be producing projects such as mine, I'll bet your laundry room looks a hell of a lot better than mine and that your husband isn't begging you to "just sit down for a minute." We all have our crosses to bear, mine just happens to be disguised, from time to time, as a strength.

Now, if you'll please excuse me, I have a kitchen floor to scrub!

Hello, my name is Katie, and I'm a Screamer!

You win some. You lose some. And sometimes you do both in the same day.

As a mom, one of my biggest faults is that I tend to be a "screamer." If you're a mom, I'm sure you've been there. Little pint-sized bundles of sass push and push until you reach your boiling point.

As of late, my eldest has been in the habit of completely ignoring my requests. Just flat-out, complete disregard for what I'm saying. Don't get me wrong. He's a great kid. Sweet as apple pie and he wears his heart on his sleeve. But, when it comes to pushing my buttons, he's got my number! I've tried a million strategies to discipline: timeouts, counting, rewarding, taking things away, and, yes, even the last resort...spanking. Sometimes one of these strategies works, sometimes none of them do. Regardless, I have yet to find something that works on a consistent basis...cue the screaming. I've been so frustrated lately with the circus our home has become, that I've resorted to screaming - hoping that the louder and more forceful I speak, the better both of my children will listen. Following a big blow-out, I always have the good old fashioned Catholic guilt. "I'm a terrible mother," "I'm destroying their little personalities," "I need to have more patience!" are just some of the thoughts that pass through my mind.

Typically, I'm pushed to my boiling point when we're on a schedule. We need to be somewhere by a certain time, and my little gentlemen just aren't cooperating. How many times does a mother need to say "Put on your shoes!" before someone hears her?! Mostly I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. Like, a 20 feet tall brick wall, made of solid concrete foundation block.

Such was the experience last week, when I was on my own for the morning (no daddy), and needed to get my oldest to preschool. The entire morning was a freakin' clown show. Just trying to get the two of them dressed was like trying to wrangle monkeys on crack. By the time we had made our way to coats and shoes, I was done. It came spewing out of my mouth like hot lava from a volcano. Thank GOD no one else was around because it must have looked a little freaky. I was stomping my feet, balling my fists and screaming like a toddler myself. Afterwards, my four-year-old looked at me with fear in his eyes and started balling that "I want my daddy." Stick a knife in my chest and twist, because I had just FAILED as a mom. Ugh... Later, as I was driving home from the preschool drop-off, I even tried to convince myself that it really wasn't that big of a deal. My mom had been a screamer (sorry Mom!) and I think I turned out ok. I don't have any unresolved self-esteem issues. I have an excellent relationship with my mom -  we're very good friends and I love her to pieces. I feel like I'm living a pretty happy life with a loving husband and two beautiful children. Maybe screaming isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. And then I ran across the following articles...

Study Says Yelling Is As Hurtful As Hitting: 
Parents Who Yell At Teens Can Increase Risk of Depression and Aggression

Parents - Are You A Yeller?

As the title of the first article suggests, a recent study published in Child Development, found there to be a correlation between yelling and depression/aggression. The study specifically targeted children between the ages of 13 and 14, though I can't help but think the same would ring true for any child subjected to yelling, even at a young age. As I read this article, I was taken back to my post-preschool drop-off pep talk. "My mom had been a screamer and I think I turned out ok." Maybe not. You see, as a teen, and throughout most of my adulthood, I have struggled with depression. It's also something that runs deep in our family and is known to be genetic. So there's that. But maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with yelling. I decided right there in that moment that I would try to make a change.

As mentioned before, I'm Catholic. It's currently the time of year that we Catholic's do best: Lent. Traditionally, we give up something during this time to reflect on the 40 days and 40 nights that Jesus spent in the dessert fasting. In the past, I typically "do" something instead of "give up" something. By Tuesday, the day I ran across these little articles, and 20 days into Lent, I still hadn't made a commitment to my own Lenten sacrifice. So here it is: for the remaining days leading up to Easter, I resolve to give up yelling. Of any kind. That was Tuesday. It is now Friday and so far I have been 100% successful. And you know what? - it is making a HUGE difference! I also discovered a little technique that my four-year-old's preschool teacher uses. Counting, with the addition of the child's name. For instance, "Billy, stop hitting your brother. Billy-one, Billy-two, Billy-three..." My son's preschool teacher must be a genius, because it works every.single.time. My oldest HATES it when I use his name while counting, and has started ceasing his behavior as soon as I start the mantra. So, between not yelling and the name+counting, I've found a strategy I can live with.

Again, this morning I tackled the preschool duty alone, and we had a great morning! We made it out the door on time, perhaps even a bit early! The three of us had a great little conversation on the way to school and as I walked out of the preschool after kissing my son goodbye, I felt my heart swell to the size of a beach ball. It felt really, really good to have had a scream-free morning! Following preschool drop-off, was a successful Target run with my two-year-old. We usually leave Target in a crying, screaming fit (him, not me) and today with a little creative thinking to ward off the tantrums, we made it through without incident. I can't help but think that the scream-free parenting set the tone for the day and laid the foundation for happier, more relaxed children.

After the post-preschool pickup today I was feeling so confident that I decided on an eat-in lunch date. Both children, at a semi-sitdown restaurant for lunch, alone. Was I crazy? Or was it some kind of scream-free high? We got in line to order our sandwiches and my youngest immediately knocked over one of the display signs. Then, they both proceeded to run around the line like banshees. Finally, the oldest mocked a death complete with air gasping, and a slow fall to the floor where he lay with his arms and legs sprawling and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. In the middle of the restaurant. Right between a college-aged couple who was giving me the stink-eye and a middle-aged man who smiled with understanding. After getting our sandwiches we sat down at a table, and in a fit of rage to get to the chocolate milk first, my youngest knocked the bottle of milk out of my hands, sending milk cascading all over the floor. And...end scene.

Yup. That's my life in a nutshell. Tiny little moments of success followed by giant catastrophes. But I'm sticking to the "no yelling" pledge. It may not make our lives completely perfect, but I think it's making a difference. Previously I would yell because I was frustrated and I thought it would help blow off some steam. But I think it did the opposite. I think it actually made me more stressed. So giving it up has actually brought a little calmness to my crazy life. If you doubt me, and you're a screamer, I challenge you to try it for a week. I promise, Mom's Honor, you and your kids won't be disappointed.



Side note: A friend of mine once recommended a book that I have yet to read - it's on my "to-do list." Maybe you want to give it a try too. It's called "Scream Free Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool" by Hal Edward Runkel.